The following was written by my good friend Saint Fults in preparation for his session at the Together For Adoption National Conference.

On October 1 and October 2, the Together for Adoption national conference will be held in Austin, Texas.  I will be hosting a session titled “The Needs of Foster Children.” In preparing for the conference, I continually asked what I think is a critical question:  What do foster children need?

Too often the heart of the question is ignored when answers to this question are things like books, bikes, clothes, suitcases, scholarships… and on and on and on. All of these answers are most assuredly correct, but they give an easy out that makes people feel better. It's easy to donate money or buy a Christmas gift and say, "I really helped a child." What is much harder is filling a need that has a permanent, lasting impact on the life of a child.

So what can we do? There are several answers, but I'd like to focus on one in particular. This idea involves changing the commonly accepted notion of foster-parenting and incorporating “radical foster parenting.”

Radical foster parenting, by my definition, requires a foster parent to:

• Provide a safe, caring and loving home for a child in foster care. 
•  Serve, mentor, teach and love the biological parents of a foster child.  
•  Serve, mentor, teach and connect to the biological family of a foster child.  
• Nurture the natural relationships that exist for children and their biological families. 
• Let a child go so they can return to their biological parents and work to make this happen.
• Hold on to a child whose biological parents can't make it work and hold on to that child forever (adopt).

Why is this so radical? To begin, the longstanding notion of foster-to-adopt is a great idea. Becoming a foster parent in the hopes of adopting a child is a foundation to the foster care and adoption system. Foster children need to be adopted, at all ages, in every part of the United States. However, this mindset often leads to problems. Foster parents suffer severe heartache and trauma when a child leaves their home.  They have major reservations about biological parents and what those parents "did" to their children.  And sometimes they may sabotage (unknowingly and unintentionally) a biological parent's progress in reunifying with their child.

Some people never consider becoming foster parents in the first place because of the horror stories they’ve heard. Radical foster parenting directly contradicts foster-to-adopt foster parenting. It requires a foster parent to be a caregiver to BOTH the child and the biological parent. It requires a focus on children and parents reuniting. It requires a focus on children and their families remaining connected and as strong as possible.

For Christian families, this is gospel-centered, missional living at its finest. Biological parents often have no support systems, no idea of how to care for their children, and no one to turn to. Foster families are in the unique position to be missionaries to these families, with the unique opportunity to let broken people know that even though they are broken, there is redemption and opportunity for change. Biological parents need to know that someone cares for their child and that someone knows they have the ability to care for their own child. Broken people need to know that the message of the gospel will save their lives.

There are families that do this and live this radical concept out. Those foster parents I have met and worked with who do radical foster parenting really change the world. These foster parents never "lose" that child. In fact, most of them become pseudo-family members and end up as weekend babysitters, invites for holidays and hosts for family dinners. I have met foster parents who are now "grandparents" of former foster children because they never let those ties distinguish. I know of biological parents who have become devoted members of foster parents' churches because a foster parent was the first person to ask them to come to church.

In my view, Christian foster families have the ability to change the world and to save people's lives. Many choose to save the life of children who enter the foster care system. Yet, they have the opportunity to save the lives of an entire family of a child who enters the foster care system. They have the opportunity to become a missionary to not just one, but an entire community. 

Join me on October 1 and 2 in Austin, TX to learn more about adoption and foster at Together For Adoption. http://www.togetherforadoption.org 

Saint